Chapter Ten
Work was new and different for Sam that day. His step was lighter and his eyes were bright. His boss even
noticed that he seemed a bit less nervous than his first day. She seemed pleased with him. He couldn’t get
what happened with Dean out of his head. He had been so sure that he would pull away and pretend it didn’t
happen. Instead, Dean had actually woken up enough to give him a kiss in the morning and mumble
something about having a good day. He shouldn’t feel so happy, it ought to unnerve him. This was a different
side of Dean, a more tender side of him. He wasn’t sure he could get used to it.
“Well, Hello.” A familiar voice said as it brought him out of his thoughts. “Sam isn’t it?” He turned to see
Angela Darling, the women they’d met at the Carnival last night. “I thought it was you.”
Sam smiled, she was pretty good looking and easy to talk to. “Yeah” he stamped a book for a student. She
had a few books to check out herself. “You also a student?”
Angela nodded, her eyebrows climbed when she noticed the mark on Sam’s face. “You get into a fight?”
“Huh?” Sam had been in a hurry getting dressed that morning and hadn’t noticed the noticeable bruise on
his jaw. “Shit” he glanced over at a nearby mirror, and before he thought about it “I’m going to kill him.”
Angela chuckled, “That’s some hicky. Whoever he is, he’s a lucky guy.”
Sam cleared his throat, his ears slightly red. “It’s my lunch break shortly; you wanna grab something to eat?”
Maybe he could hit her up for some more information.
“Sure, Sam, what’s your pleasure?”
Sam’s cell phone rang just then. Dean. His heart skipped. “Hold that thought.” He told Angela with a wide
grin, “Hey.”
“Sammy” said Dean in his usual way. “You ok to talk?”
“Sure, what?”
“Hey, I found some disturbed ground in the woods by the Carnival.”
“Dean!” Sam said sharply, “What are you doing out there alone?”
“Working” Dean retorted as if that should be obvious. “You remember those reports we came across bout
people who killed themselves when the Carnival left, well, I’ve been checking it out this morning.”
“Uhm, thought you’d be resting?” Sam could have kicked himself when he heard Dean scoff.
“Not now, Sammy.” Dean cut him off. “Well, I found something and I’m checking it out. Come out here after
work. When are you done there?”
“In four hours.” Sam sighed. “How the hell am I supposed to get there if you’ve got the car?”
“Walk. It’s only twenty minutes from the University.” Dean snorted, “And Sam.”
“What?”
“I can still feel you in my ass. A walk serves you right for what I went through driving the Impala here.” Dean
snapped the phone shut before Sam could get off a sufficiently crack in response.
“Your guy?” Angela raised an eyebrow.
Sam cleared his throat, “Uh-my older brother Dean.” He said quickly. “He’s a jerk.”
“I see.” Angela smirked. “Well, come on. Let’s talk about it over lunch.”
*
At the café Sam stirred his espresso while Angela had tea. “You wanna talk about it?” She offered.
How do you talk about the fact that you’re in love with your brother and just had the best sex of your life? Sam
stared at her, unable to decide whether or not to trust this woman. He cleared his throat, “Uh. Not really much
to talk about.”
“Sure, I can see how it can be a little sticky.” Angela didn’t comment further. She smiled when Sam changed
the subject.
“So tell me more about the Carnival, has it always come here?”
Angela considered the question and nodded, “Ever since I can remember, yes. No one knows who runs it; it
just seems to run itself.”
“What about that Carousel? Why do the kids like it so much? I mean, you just turn around and around.”
“You know kids, lots of imagination.” She stirred some sugar into her tea.
“Have you been on it?”
She sipped her tea, “When I was younger, I went on it all the time. We’ve all been on it.”
“When’s the last time you were on it?”
“I was eighteen.” She admitted.
“You went on it when you were eighteen?” Sam grinned.
Angela laughed, “You’ll understand if you give it a go. There’s just something magical you know? The
different monsters and the challenges.”
“Challenges?”
“Oh hell, I don’t remember.” She shook her head. “It was a long time ago, Sam. I was young and wanted to
be part of the crowd. We made up stuff. It’s all making believe, anyway. It’s not like dragons and witches are
real.” She scoffed. “My husband died because he was high, not because of some damn game.”
She stood up, “Listen Sam, I have to go. It’s been nice talking to you.”
“Game? Angela do you mind meeting me later? I would really like to know more about this game you’re
talking about.”
“Sam, look. I really have to go. I have a class.”
“Angela!” Sam called after her, but she had already walked away. “Damnit.”
He ran his hand through his hair, the more he found out about the Carousel the more questions he had. And
the more he worried about Dean being at the Carnival alone.
*
Dean watched the carnies as they worked on their rides and stalls. The Carnival was open, but they had not
said much to him. In fact, they pretty much ignored him. Dean was not used to being ignored. He got the fact
that a lot of them were deaf, but hell they could see him. He spent most of the morning studying the woods in
daylight. He had to admit he needed distraction. When he woke up that morning and Sam was at work his
mind had started to wander. The sex had been fantastic; his mind was blown by it. It had almost been too
good. It was like someone had given him the perfect Sam and Dean had known something was wrong from
the beginning.
It was instinct; he’d got it from his father. He knew that last night was special in many ways and Sam had
wanted it as much as he did. Dean leant against a fence and ran his hand through his hair. If he were a
smoker, he’d have taken out a cigarette by now. The place gave him the creeps. It wasn’t just because the
people here were different. It was the whole vibe he got from it. Dean wanted to accept that Sam loved him
and needed him. He wanted to know for sure that it wasn’t something induced. He’d lost control the night
before and what small amount of self respect he had was already frayed. Now he’d let his own brother fuck
him and he’d loved it. Hell, he wanted it again. He couldn’t stop thinking about Sam’s cock buried inside him.
Sam’s whimpering. God, it was like being on a drug he couldn’t kick. He was supposed to look after Sam,
not lead him into hell.
Sam would tell him that Dean couldn’t make all the choices. That, however, was the elder brother’s
prerogative. He made the difficult decisions for the both of them. He started when he heard a soft voice
speak.
“Your spirit is very loud, Dean Winchester.”
Dean turned to the woman who stood before him. A beauty in black she made his head spin with just how
stunning she was. She gave him a short bow of respect which made him twitch. “Who are you and how do
you know my name?”
“You may call me Sia.”
“That’s not your real name.” Dean objected.
“My real name is not important.”
“You’re right; I can easily kill you without knowing it.” Dean said with a flash of a smile. “My brother was with
you last night when I couldn’t find him, wasn’t he?”
“Correct.” She nodded. “Sam Winchester is scheduled to ride the Carousel tonight.”
“Guess again.” Dean snarled as he pulled out his gun. He didn’t care that people could see them. Her
pleasant smile irritated him, the slow and easy way she spoke, the tone of perfect serenity in her voice.
“You will not interfere.”
A group of civilians surrounded her and blocked Dean’s shot. Their eyes were glazed over, as though they
had no control over their actions. Dean cursed. “The fuck I won’t. You can’t hide behind humans forever.”
“On the contrary” She responded. “You will be the main attraction.”
Dean snarled “Not this time.” One thing a good hunter knew was when to run. Dean saw the other carnies
coming at him and sprinted. They charged towards him, but Dean was really damn good at running. He leapt
into the Impala and squealed away. He’d be damned if a bunch of clowns were going to catch him.
*
Sam was surprised when he saw Dean come into the library with an extremely agitated, out of breath
expression. “Hey…what ha—“
“Bathroom, now” Dean commanded. “Tell them you are taking a break.”
Sam knew better than to argue with that attitude and followed Dean into the bathroom. “What’s going on?
You said to meet you there.”
“We are getting the hell out of this town right now.” Dean said his voice sharp. “And don’t fucking argue with
me.”
“Dean, you” Sam frowned. “We can’t just leave. Listen I talked with Angela again.”
Dean’s voice rose to a dangerously high level. “We’re leaving Sam. If I have to knock you out and tie you up,
we are leaving before sunset, in fact. Now would be preferable. Tell your boss something came up. I don’t
fucking care what you tell her.”
“Dean, calm down. Whatever’s going on, we’ll deal with it.” Sam pleaded as he reached over. To his surprise
and dismay, Dean flinched away from him.
“I said don’t argue with me. For once, Sam, do as you’re fucking told. Don’t give me this deal crap. Not now.
Now get your crap and meet me outside. You’ve got five minutes.” Dean stormed out.
Sam stared after him in shock. He’d never seen Dean that upset before and yeah, he would do what he was
told for once. With a sigh he tried to quickly explain to his boss that his cousin in Idaho had died and they
were needed. The excuse didn’t pan over well but it was the only thing he could think of and in record time
Sam was in the Impala. “Do we need to go back to the hotel?”
“No, I checked us out.” Dean squealed out of the parking lot and beat speed records getting out of town.
*
It was an hour later before Sam finally said something. “Can you at least tell me what happened?”
“No.” Dean said shortly. He fumbled for a cassette and stuffed it in. He’d rather listen to Ozzy right now.
“Ok, how about where we’re going?”
“Anywhere but back there” Dean growled.
*
It was another two hours before Dean pulled the car over at a rest stop and killed the engine. He was a hell
of a lot calmer even though it was much later at night. “Sammy. I’m sorry.” He worked the words out carefully.
“I’m sorry too.” Sam murmured. “What happened?”
“I had to get you away from there. They were.” He cleared his throat. “They said you had an appointment to
ride the Carousel.”
Sam’s eyebrows rose. “How would they know?”
“She knew our names, Sam. This thing is way bigger than I know how to deal with. We need help. We need
Dad.”
“Good luck with getting him on the phone.” Sam rolled his eyes. “and Dean, I don’t want to deal with Dad
right now. I want you to talk to me. Not about what happened right now, but about what happened last night.”
“What’s to talk about?” Dean reached for a soda from their fridge pack. He looked away from Sam.
“Sex, really damn good sex, us, you and me, love.” Sam listed things off his fingers. “What happens now?
What are we going to do, Dean?”
“Have more sex?” Dean tried humor to dodge the question, he half smiled at Sam who glared at him. “I’m
not the sharing and caring type, Sam. You know that.”
Sam sighed, “You don’t even want to think about it, do you? Alright, never mind. Forget I said anything.” He
turned and stared out of the window. “Have it your way, its just sex.”
“You make it sound like I don’t give a shit.” Dean put the soda down. “Sam.” He frowned. “Sam, I just have a
lot to process here.”
“Then process Dean. I’m not a fucking whore for you to sleep with when you feel like it. Get –that- through
your head right now. If that’s your plan, count me out of it.” Sam snapped.
“I don’t think you’re a whore, Sam. I think you’re my brother, and whether or not that even registers with you, I
don’t know. But it does to me. This is so fucked up on so many levels I don’t even know where to begin. I love
our family, Sam. It’s everything to me. You’re all I have. I don’t want.” He fought to keep the emotion from
spilling into his face. “I don’t want. I don’t want to screw up our family by screwing up you.”
Sam’s mouth opened as he stared at Dean, he saw raw emotion for the first time in a while in his brother’s
eyes. It made sense now. “Dean, Dean…” He reached over and threaded their fingers together. “You haven’t
done anything wrong. You haven’t done anything I didn’t want.”
“That’s the problem, Sam. I made you want it. I could have stopped it from happening. I could have fought it.”
“I wouldn’t have let you.” Sam smiled. He scooted over and leant against Dean. “I won’t leave you Dean. I
swear it.”
Dean sighed and drew his arm around Sam. They were so totally screwed and he knew it. He frowned when
he saw the road sign ahead. “Sammy did you see me turn around?”
Sam straightened, “No, why?”
Dean pointed out the sign.
“Fuck.” Sam stared.
“Welcome to Fairmount.” Dean read. “I told you this was way out of our league.”
Chapter Eleven
Dean got out of the Impala and glared at the sign. The expression on his face worried Sam; it was a mixture
of anger and anguish. Dean’s temper mounted, he should have known something was wrong. It was all too
perfect. He stood there for several minutes as fumes exuded from his eyes.
Sam rested his arms on the Impala while he studied Dean. The man was more than a little angry. He knew
his brother and he knew when Dean was mad. “Dean…” He said tentatively.
“Sammy.” Dean exhaled. “We’re in big trouble here. I need you to tell me everything that happened, anything
you might have missed.”
They got back into the car and Sam shifted to look at Dean. He explained the encounter in the Carvan and
once he got to a certain point, Dean stopped him.
“Hold on, hold on.” Dean said. “She gave you tea? Did you drink it?”
“Well, yeah.” Sam shrugged, “So then …”
“Sam!” Dean reached over and smacked him upside the head. “You fell for the oldest trick in the book. I can’t
believe you.” He scoffed.
“Sorry, I thought she was being nice.” Sam rubbed his head.
“Nice.” Dean snorted. “Christ, Sam. You are a lamb to the fucking slaughter sometimes. You trust people too
easily. So this chick, she tells you what?”
“I told you, that you’re going to die and the only thing I can do is choose how it happens.”
“That’s bullshit, Sam. Its mind screwing bullshit, they’ve got you so wound up you’ll think anything they say is
gospel.” Dean shook his head, “We’ve got to break the spell.”
“How?” Sam lifted up his hands. “Do you know how to stop magic this big?”
“No. Ok…let me think.” Dean reached for John’s journal and started to leaf through it. “This town’s nowhere
in the journal.” He paused at one page where he found the word magic and read onward a few pages until
he found something interesting. “It says here that spells are broken when the subject wakes up. What the
fuck does that mean, wake up? Wait, wait.” Dean read a bit more. “Dad says that magic comes in different
forms, the willing and the accidental. Some people set off magic, some people walk into it and some people
cast it.”
“Christ, can he be any more difficult to understand?” Sam grunted. “I don’t feel like I’m sleeping, Dean.”
“I don’t think it’s that kind of waking up, Sam. It’s like you’re under her control. Dad also says that people who
practice magic use the weaknesses and strengths of their victims against them. He talks about running into
a Shaman in Orleans who could cast a waking spell on his victims. He gained power through them. He used
their weaknesses and strengths against them. Maybe we’re dealing with the same kind of thing. And you
know what this means, don’t you?”
“What?”
“She gave you that vision.” Dean said triumphantly. “Just to fuck with you so she could cast her spell.”
“Read more, does Dad say anything about how this works?”
“Dad says that the victim has no choice but to ride out the spell. If they are strong, they will wake up, if not.”
Dean paused and looked slightly ill.
“If not, what? Let me see that.” Sam took the book from Dean and flipped through the pages. “This is right
after Dad’s notes on Grim Reapers. He says this type of spell caster is a mortal version of a Reaper, Dean.
They take energy from souls and disperse it as they see fit. They keep some energy for themselves for
power.”
“I get it, so what’s up with the Carousel and why do they want you on it?”
“The sleeper, I guess that’s me, performs a task. The task is designated as he walks the foci. That’s what
the Carousel is, a focal point. If the sleeper can perform the task, they will wake up. If they cannot….yeah,
well that explains what happened to Angela’s husband. The men killed themselves because they could not
complete the task.”
“How do we destroy the foci?” Dean asked grimly.
“Dad says it can’t be destroyed.” Sam closed the book. “The focus is an object from Hell and only a Demon
from Hell can send it back. Dad only makes a few notes that say to bury the focus and salt it.”
Dean snapped his fingers. “The disturbed earth I found. It was discolored from the rest of the woods. Do you
think that someone found it? The Carousel I mean?”
“Probably a long time ago” Sam shrugged, “Who knows.”
“Those kids you saw were from the 20s or something right?”
“The depression, yeah” Sam nodded.
“That would make sense, a lot of crap happening around then.” Dean rubbed his neck. “Maybe this thing
came into existence back then.”
“So we can’t break the spell.” Sam swallowed, “Dean there’s only one thing to do.”
“Guess there’s a ride with your name on it.” Dean nodded.
Sam gave a little sigh and agreed.
“Hey.” Dean reached over and put his hand on Sam’s neck, a thumb caressed the spot he’d made on his
brother’s jaw. There was a rare expression in his eyes, they showed feeling, love. “I have faith in you Sammy.
Just tell me something.”
Sam leant his head into Dean’s hand. “What?”
“Tell me that when you wake up, you won’t regret this.”
“Regret what?”
Dean pulled Sam into his arms and kissed him. The kiss was far from gentle. It was thorough and
dominated him completely. Sam let Dean plunder his mouth as he opened his lips to meet his lover’s hot
tongue. They met passion for passion, need for need. Even if it wasn’t right, Dean couldn’t keep it at bay any
longer. When they parted, Dean smiled at Sam sadly. “I had to kiss you. If this is the last time and if when you
wake up you don’t remember or don’t want what happened, I’ll understand, Sam. I won’t bring it up again.”
“Dean.” Sam laughed softly. “I’ve wanted you before this.”
“You never let on.”
“You never asked and I’m good at changing the subject.”
“How long have you wanted me?” Dean titled his head, curious. “Really?”
Sam cleared his throat. “Remember that night when you held me in your arms after my famous date that
never was?”
“Christ. You know you should have said something.” Dean grumbled.
“At that time, don’t be stupid. You’d never have taken me seriously.” Sam shook his head. He sighed and
stroked the side of his brother’s face. “Listen, whatever happens. I wanted this long before this spell, really
wanted it. We had too much other shit to deal with. But this is not a side effect, ok? Trust me.”
“I trust you, Sam.”
“Then let’s do this.” Sam squeezed Dean’s hand. “I will survive, Dean.”
The brothers pulled apart and Dean drove the Impala back to Fairmount, to the Carnival and to whatever was
in store for them.
Chapter Twelve
They were met at the entrance to the Carnival by a tiny man who didn’t seem at all pleased to see them. In
fact, the place wasn’t all that quiet. There were people still on the rides. Lights and music flashed around
them. Dean didn’t look too happy, there were too many innocent bystanders. This wasn’t going to be nice
and clean. He patted Sam’s shoulder, knowing how nervous his brother was. “I’m here, it’s cool.”
Of course, they were checked for weapons almost immediately. Dean had to spend several minutes while
he was disarmed and Sam smirked as he watched the sheer amount of guns and knives Dean had hidden
on him. “Preparation is everything.” Dean reminded Sam with a wink.
That wink caused a dark flush down Sam’s neck and he glared at his brother. “Can’t you ever be serious?”
“I’m always serious.” Dean eyed the midget. “Ya done patting me down, Bilbo?” He only received a grunt for
that comment. They directed the boys where they were expected.
“They knew we were coming back.” Sam didn’t have to say what they both knew.
Dean didn’t respond, he stuck his hands in his pockets and walked with Sam towards the Carousel. The
line was not long and they saw that Sia had waited for them. He itched to kill her; his eyes were fixed on the
woman with a promise of death. Before this night was done, she would get hers.
“Dean and Sam Winchester” She said with a smile. “How nice to see you again, welcome.” She bowed
politely. The woman’s silk dress was straight from the orient with its dragons, flowers and birds. The
material was brilliant silver, gold and black and the dress flowed with every move she made. Her long black
hair was spiraled up in curls and ribbon. She was the personification of beauty.
“What are you?” Sam asked her plainly.
“You know what I am, Sam.” She replied.
“A mortal demon wannabe” Dean decided tersely. “Is this step seven in how to become a Demon in ten easy
steps? Because you know, there’s a quick and easy method. I can just send you to hell.”
Her smile was pleasant. “You’re very amusing, Dean. I think you should let your brother speak. Sam, you
have something to say?”
“I know what you want.” Sam said. “And I know what you’ve done to me. My question is why me? I’m older
than you usually take.”
“You know what I am, Sam.” She bowed her head. “And I knew who you were the moment you crossed my
border. What I take of you will go where it should.”
“To who?”
“You know who it is going to Sam.”
“You work for him?” Sam’s eyes narrowed.
The oriental woman smiled. “You think too linearly, Sam. The ride is waiting.” She looked over to it. “Are you
ready?”
“What about Dean?”
“Your choices will affect his fate.” She simply nodded and two large men stepped up to either side of Dean,
they were twins, dark skinned, tattooed and mean looking.
Dean looked up one then the other, he looked back at Sam. “You can do it, Sammy.”
Sam grunted and walked towards the line of children who ranged in ages. He glanced back once at Dean
and when he stepped passed the sign the Carousel music rang in his ears. He showed his id to the tall
scaly man who waved him through. Sam studied the various fantastic creatures. He saw that the timer was
running out, the ride would start soon. He had to make a choice. He looked back to try and see Dean but the
rest of the fair was in a haze. He opted finally for what looked like a combination between a dragon and a
horse and swung one long leg over the saddle.
Dean watched Sam choose and the Carousel begin to turn. He had a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach.
The Carousel poles bobbed up and down and he saw Sam look back for him. His heart hurt as well as his
head. In fact, the headache was getting worse. Dean groaned the third time he saw Sam come around in the
Carousel. He couldn’t focus any more from the pain.
*
On the Carousel, Sam felt odd. He glanced over at a young girl who waved and smiled at him from the back
of a sea horse. This was… absurd. He wasn’t six years old; he’d never had the chance to be six years old. At
six he was watching Dean learn how to fight. At six he was learning how to shoot. Fantasy didn’t exist. At six
he had already seen his fair share of horror. He never had the chance for imagination. He knew it was there.
“I’m your brother Sam. This isn’t right.” Dean’s words echoed in his mind. “Maybe you’ve forgotten, but I
haven’t.”
The music rang in his ears. The eerie Carousel music meant to be cheerful grated on his every nerve. It was
cold and he buttoned his jacket. The landscape changed with every turn of the Carousel. It went from Spring
to Summer to Winter then to Fall and back again. He felt the snowflakes fall on his hair only to melt in the
summer sun.
“You’re all I have, you and Dad.” Dean’s voice echoed in his head. “As long as I’m around, nothing bad is
ever going to happen to you.”
He fell. Somehow, he fell. The fall leaves crumpled around him and Dean fell with him. It was fall again; they
roughhoused in the crackled leaves. Sam was eighteen and Dean was just back from training. How had he
forgotten this memory?
“It’s good to see you again, Sammy.” Dean had placed a kiss on his forehead. “A date? Dad said you had a
date? Who dates a geek?”
“Yeah, Victoria.” Sam had smiled. “Her father owns the theatre.” Sam had somehow managed to pin Dean
and straddled him.
“Oooh, Victoria." Dean tickled Sam.
"She likes books.” Sam explained. "Hey, stop it! Not fair."
“She sounds rich, owns a theatre huh? How’d you meet her?”
“I saw one of the plays she was in.”
“She’s an actress?” Dean had started to laugh even when Sam rewarded him with a punchl. “She sounds
hot. When can I meet her?”
“Tonight. She’s coming to pick me up.”
“She’s picking –you- up? Well that’s new.” Dean chuckled. “How did you meet her?”
“Shut up. It’s not like you’ll let me use the Impala.” Sam retorted. “A job, of course, Dad knows her dad.”
Dean had frowned. “You’re wearing that shirt? Dude, that’s three years old, and I think it was mine.”
“It’s comfortable. She didn’t want me to dress up.” Sam shrugged.
“Sounds like a dream.” Dean had reached up to touch his hair. “Your hair’s getting long.”
Sam remembered crying in Dean’s arms that night. Victoria’s father had told her she couldn’t see him. He
was held tight and rocked for the night in the arms of the man he loved. That was the night that Sam knew in
his heart who he truly loved.
“No. You can’t have that memory you son of a bitch!” Sam knew now what was going on. “No. I won’t let you
take anything from me. You can’t have Dean! You can’t have him!” Sam screamed at the air around him as
he shook with rage. “Get on with it, give me the task. You can’t take anything from me. I won’t let you.”
Sam closed his eyes and when they opened, they were a sparkling black not unlike the darkness of
possession. “So help me God I will make you pay. I will make you pay if you try and take him.”
*
Dean stared at Sia who watched the Carousel. He’d been forced to his knees from the pain of the headache.
“Leave him alone.” Even in extreme pain, Dean was hard to keep down. He had to be forced.
“He’s just begun to fight. I knew he had energy in him; this is more than I dreamed possible.”
Dean could swear he saw the woman flash in and out of existence like a ghost or a shade. He scowled.
What the hell was going on?
“Sammy…” He whispered as he stared at the Carousel. He frowned when he saw the ride come around
again and he couldn’t see Sam clearly. “Sammy.”
There was an explosion on the Carnival which instantly cleared the pain from Dean’s head. He leapt to his
feet. “Sam!”
Kids ran off the Carousel and away screaming. Another explosion ripped through it. A dark figure stood in the
middle of the fire, flames licking around him. Dean’s heart jumped to his throat. He dove for one of the men
who was holding his weapons in a satchel and kicked him senseless. Dean didn’t need weapons to be
effective. He pulled out his shotgun and cocked it.
The oriental woman continued to flicker like something from a dream. A third explosion made her scream.
Sam walked off the Carousel as fire trailed him. It licked around his boots and dissipated. Sam stood where
he was a dark figure at the edge of the flames.
The oriental woman fell; she turned a pleased smile to Dean. “Only a demon could send it back to hell.”
Realization dawned on Dean. They had planned it all along. They used Sam. She had –wanted- to destroy
the Carousel. Somehow she’d known he would.
“Sammy.” Dean said tentatively as he held the shotgun.
Sam walked forward into the light and the look in his brother’s eyes made Dean’s heart break.
He saw his brother point at the woman, something flashed from his fingers and jolted towards her. He wasn’
t sure what exactly it was but it consumed the woman instantly and the other Carnies scattered.
Sam walked towards Dean, but it wasn’t Sam. It couldn’t be Sam. His eyes were a pitch black, his hair was
wild and his clothing smoked. It wasn' t Sam even though it looked just like him.
Dean couldn’t do it, he couldn’t fire. Instead, he ran.
Into the woods.
Chapter Thirteen
Dean was glad he’d remembered to bring the gun and it was loaded. The problem was he couldn’t use it on
Sam. Still, it’d make an effective club when the time came. His mind raced, they’d been played from the very
start. This whole thing was a set up. Somehow, the fortune teller had used them to get rid of the Carousel.
So many children had run off that thing. He swallowed heavily as he rested for a minute behind a tree. He
needed time to think and to plan. Unfortunately he didn’t have that luxury. He didn’t know what was in Sam
and what had happened. All he knew was that if he didn’t figure out a way out of this mess, he’d lose Sam
forever.
He heard rustling behind him and turned to spot Sam in the distance. He heard Sam’s voice call towards
him. “Dean! Dean where are you?” It sounded like his brother, it sounded worried. Dean knew better.
He kept going. Eventually he’d find a way out of these woods. Damn nature. He hated nature. He liked
Asphalt. Asphalt was man’s best friend. Anything that wasn’t on asphalt was going to be a pain in the ass.
He found a tree tall enough to climb and get an idea of where to go next. It looked like he was half way
between the town and the Carnival. He could see the flames. Cop cars and Ambulances were everywhere.
Shit, he had to get to the Impala. He’d have to go back. Dean shimmied down the tree only feel something
grip his shoulder and bunch into his shirt. “Dean.” A relieved voice whispered. “What the hell?” Sam stared
back at him.
“That’s what I’d like to know.” Dean shoved Sam away from him and backed off. He held the gun straight at
Sam. “Don’t come any closer.”
Sam cleared his throat. “Hey, it’s me. What’s going on Dean? I walked off the Carousel and now it’s
burning.” His words were heartfelt and it tore at Dean’s gut.
Dean wanted so much to believe it was Sam. His hand shook.
Sam stepped towards him; he let the gun point directly into his chest. “It’s me, Dean.” He rasped. “Trust me.”
Dean stared into Sam’s eyes, they were no longer black. His breath came in sharp gasps as he tried to
process. Finally, Dean could only lower the gun. For a long time they stood there. Sam reached out to grasp
his brother’s forearms. “It’s over, Dean.” His voice was soft.
In the distance, a church bell chimed one o’clock in the morning.
Dean drew Sam into his arms in a desperate embrace. He felt Sam’s hands run down his back and slide
under his jeans. His cock reacted quickly; clearly it didn’t care what was or was not in Sam. How their
clothing came off, Dean didn’t know. His fingers raked his brother’s long thighs as their tongues tangled in a
frenzy of heat. Sam quivered and mewled like a kitten that wanted more attention.
“Need you, Dean.” Sam begged.
It was wild and unnatural and they were wrapped in fire. Dean couldn’t have stopped if he’d wanted to. This
was a force that was beyond his control. The passion between him and Sam had ignited to the point of no
return. He knew it wasn’t right but he no longer cared. He just wanted Sam. He needed Sam. He desperately
wanted Sam to love him too and to need him just as much. The words Sam spoke had been exactly what he
wanted to hear. If that had not been enough to make him pause it was the next thing Sam whispered in his
ear.
“Want you inside me, now.”
Normally Dean would have been completely willing to comply, but those words doused him like a cold
shower. Dean attempted to pull away, “No, Sammy. Not like this, you’ve not done this before.”
“Don’t care.” Sam murmured. “Want to feel you.”
“Sammy no” Dean stopped pulling away. His hands cupped Sam’s cheeks. “I want you badly, but not like
this. We should go back, get the Impala and leave here.”
Sam’s hands had other ideas. One huge one was already closed around Dean’s cock and rubbed it
insistently. “I think parts of you want otherwise.” He kissed one of the palms that cupped his face. “You can’t
wait to be buried inside me, I want you too.” He shook out of Dean’s hands and claimed his lips.
“It has to be right.” Dean moaned. “Sammy…”
“Prepare me, Dean.”
“No condoms, no lube…” Dean rasped as he fought for control. Sam’s fingers slipped over the tip of his cock
and teased the head.
“I have a condom.” Sam produced one from his discarded jacket. He ripped the package open and slipped it
out. “You said you were going to show me out to put this on using my mouth. I think I have an idea how.” Sam
sank to his knees and Dean braced himself against the tree.
“Oh God” the words rang in Dean’s head. He couldn’t stop this. No matter how much he wanted to he just
couldn’t stop this.
He stared down; the sight of Sam as he slipped the condom over his shaft would have been enough to push
him over the edge. Dean’s brain exploded when Sam’s mouth closed over the tip of his cock and his lips
pushed the rest of the condom on. All he could think of was that Sam was a fast learner.
“God…” Dean croaked out as Sam kissed his way up his stomach.
“Do you want me, Dean?” His brother whispered.
The question was unnecessary, Dean could only groan in acknowledgement. He was too far gone to notice
the way Sam’s eyes flickered with dark shadows.
*
Sam walked off the Carousel in a daze. People were everywhere, frantic and frightened. Police sirens wailed
in the distance. He blinked in confusion when he saw the oriental woman standing before him. “Thank you
Sam.” She whispered softly. “Thank you.”
“What happened?”
“It’s over, Sam. One thousand years. It’s finally over. You broke his hold on me. Dean needs you now. Go to
your brother.”
Before he could ask more, she vanished with a smile and a puff of dust.
Sam heard a church bell chime one o’clock. Then he saw the vision again. Sam cried out in pain. No. No he
wouldn’t let it happen. “Dean!!!” He called out into the darkness.
A power line crackled and ignited the leaves of a nearby tree. A chain reaction danced over the tree line of the
woods illuminating the area. Sam could swear he saw Dean…with something else.
Desperate, Sam rushed forward and into the woods.
*
Deep inside that tight heat, Dean felt his soul shrivel. If he was going to die, this is how he’d want to go,
buried in Sam. He heard someone call his name in the distance but he was too far gone, to deep into it. He
didn’t see the dagger; he didn’t hear the low chuckle.
“I know your weakness.” The words were whispered in Dean’s ear just before the dagger plunged
downward. “I know how to defeat you.”
*
Something stopped the dagger.
Dean felt himself roughly dragged off of Sam and tossed aside. He gaped in shock when he saw double.
“Shit.” Dean shook his head groggily as he attempted to pull himself together.
They were both the same person. The dark shadow and the light shadow of Sam, and they faced each other
down. “Get away from my brother.” Sam warned the thing that had fooled his brother.
It whispered in a voice very different though still Sam’s voice. “You had to come back, didn’t you?”
“You can’t have me.” Sam said firmly. “And you can’t have us.”
“How do you propose to stop me?” The creature laughed.
From behind them there was the firing of a gun. Dean had found the rifle and had not hesitated to fire this
time. “That’s right, eat it you bastard.” He had not even bothered to take the time to dress. He advanced and
kept firing, determined to rid the world of that –thing-.
It screeched, the loud wail made Sam hold his ears.
“We’ll stop you the way we always stop you sons of bitches.” Dean spat. In the moonlight, his naked form
glistened and shadows of flames danced across his skin. The beauty of his body did not hide the power and
force within it. “I love my brother, and you ain’t him.”
The creature melted… literally into a kind of plasma goo which made Sam give a disgusted look.
They both stared down at it until it was gone.
“You were fucking that thing.” Sam turned to Dean.
“I thought it was you.” Dean said defensively. “Don’t start with me. I’ve had a really bad day.”
“*You* have.”
“Where the hell are my clothes?” Dean growled as he started to shift through the foliage.
Chapter Fourteen
The Impala hummed with Motorhead. Dean had found his clothing and refused to talk. The brothers made
their way back to the car and away from the town. Sam looked over at Dean who sang along and banged the
wheel as though nothing at all had happened.
The song was Ace of Spades, Sam knew it well. It was one of Dean’s favorites and he liked to play it when
the job was done.
“Playin' for the high one, dancin' with the devil
going with the flow, it's all a game to me
7 or 11, snake eyes watching you
Double up or quit, double stake or split
the Ace of Spades” - lyrics by Motorhead (ace of spades)
It was Dean’s method to deal with everything they saw and did. He was predictable in some ways. He
wouldn’t be Dean otherwise and Sam wouldn’t love him with all his heart and soul.
As the song drew to a close, Dean glanced over at Sam, “What?”
“What? I didn’t say anything.” Sam shrugged and looked away.
“You may not have said anything but you’re yelling at me. I don’t have to be a psychic to know that. Quit it. I’m
not in the mood.” Dean turned up the music.
Sam turned it off. “We have to talk, Dean.”
“Sam.” Dean glared at his brother. “Not now.”
“Then when?”
“Maybe not ever” Dean shrugged.
“Ok, Dean. You know what. That’s bullshit, but fine, whatever.” Sam fumed. He turned the music back on.
Dean turned it off. “I can’t believe you’re having a hissy fit because I fucked someone who looked like you.”
“Dean, how you managed to have a relationship with Cassie for the number of weeks you did amazes me.”
Sam shot back.
Dean glared back at Sam and the music went back on.
Sam ran his fingers through his hair in exasperation.
More silence filled the car as time went on. Every so often they would glare at each other. Finally Dean
stopped the car at a motel. “This is ridiculous.” He told Sam.
Sam raised his eyebrows. “Dude, we are not stopping here.” The place was a complete dive and he was not
going to mend his relationship with Dean at a dive.
“Since when are you a pussy? We’ve slept in worse.” Dean snorted. He turned off the engine anyway and
went to get them a room.
“How many beds?” the shopkeeper asked a yawn on his lips. It was, after all, pretty late at night the next day
by the time Dean had finally stopped.
“Got a King?” Dean asked straight-faced.
“Yeah” The shopkeeper snorted. “Credit card up front and sign here.”
Sam’s heart did a skid. A king sized bed. One bed, what did that mean? He gave Dean a sidelong look but
his brother’s face was unreadable.
As they walked back to the Impala, Dean glanced at Sam. “Oh, tell me you are not going to be a prude now.”
He popped the trunk and grabbed his bag.
“Of course not” Sam grunted.
Dean opened the door, “Ladies first.” He told Sam with a grin that was far too cheeky for the last half day of
silence and glares.
Sam shoved Dean into the edge of the door frame in annoyance and stormed inside.
“Sam.” Dean closed the door. “Sammy, look at me.”
Sam turned around to look at Dean, “What, Dean? Shall I strip now so you can fuck me, sleep and we can go
on our merry way? Wasn’t that good, Sammy boy, lets do it again tomorrow night? Be a good little whore for
me, Sam.”
“Sam, shut up.” Dean snapped. “Don’t talk about us like that, ok? You’re pissing me off. It’s not like that.”
“Oh, I’m pissing –you- off!?!” Sam snarled.
Dean was fed up. He was tired of being asked to show emotion when he’d spent his entire life with it buried
under his skin. The last thing he wanted to do right now was argue about how insensitive he was with Sam.
“Sam. I’m going to go take a shower, and then I’m going to come out and have a beer. Then we’ll talk.”
“It’s always on your terms isn’t it, Dean?” Sam rubbed his face. “All the time and I can’t do anything to change
that. I don’t want you to not be you, Dean. I just want.” He snuffled and hated himself for being so weak.
Dean sighed as he reached over to brush dirt off of Sam’s shirt. “I know what you want, Sam. Just give me
some space, ok?” He stroked his brother’s neck gently and his thumb caressed the bruise he’d made on
Sam’s jaw. “There’s a lot I want too, and a lot I want to hear that you haven’t said.”
What did he mean by that? Sam stared after his brother as Dean walked into the bathroom. He sat down
heavily on the couch as he tried to analyze the complexity that was Dean Winchester. He pulled off his shirt
and pants which were extremely dirty anyway. He wanted a shower, he did, but he wasn’t sure what Dean’s
reaction would be if he went in to join him. He also didn’t understand what Dean meant when there was
something he wanted to hear. What hadn’t he said to Dean?
At any rate, Dean had asked for space and he couldn’t just barge in there. He wanted Dean to trust him. Sam
sat in his boxers and waited for Dean to emerge, he already had a beer. He never wanted this gypsy life. He
had never wanted to wander around forever. He wanted a home, love. That wasn’t what Dean wanted, not
now anyway. He pulled on a fresh shirt and sighed. He closed his eyes and leant his head back. He didn’t
realize how exhausted from emotion he was until just then.
*
Sam didn’t know when he’d fallen asleep. He didn’t know when he’d made it to the bed either. Somehow
when his eyes fluttered open he was curled up in Dean’s arms, long legs tangled in between his brother’s.
“Mmm” Sam murmured. He glanced over at the clock that said it was around four in the morning. Dean was
warm and felt so good. He noticed then that Dean’s eyes were open, he was awake. “Hi.”
“Usually I’m the one who sleeps like a stone.” Dean said with a smile.
“I don’t remember getting into bed.” Sam didn’t mind, however. Not in the least.
“I carried you.” Dean said simply.
Sam laughed and nuzzled against Dean. “I was tired last night, tired and cranky. I’m sorry for being a pain in
the ass.”
“Shh” Dean whispered as he stroked Sam’s hair. “It’s fine. I understand.”
“No.” Sam shook his head, “Don’t do that.”
“Do what?” Dean looked at Sam with a quizzical expression.
“Don’t shut down and let me hear what I want to hear.” Sam said softly. “You know I want you, Dean and you
know I don’t want to be just convenience but if that’s what it has to be, it’s ok. Whatever you want, I’m sorry for
being an ass.”
Dean cleared his throat, “Sammy…”
“I mean, I know I’m not what you want. You like women too, so do I. I guess I could handle you flirting and
sleeping with other people. I guess. This is just, I don’t know. I just want to be with you and I’m sorry.”
“Sammy, shut up.” Dean said as he leant over to kiss Sam. “Stop apologizing.”
The kiss was warm and soft. It held none of the urgent hunger he’d experienced before from Dean. It was
sweet, controlled and natural. It came from the heart. He opened his lips to let his lover’s tongue explore.
Warmth filled his body as Dean sucked on his lower lip and finally pulled away. The kiss left him breathless,
aroused and needy. He wanted to touch Dean, but he wasn’t sure what the look in his brother’s eyes meant.
He was afraid to ask because he didn’t want to annoy Dean. He was afraid to say anything that would break
the moment.
“You drive me crazy, Sam.” Dean pushed his brother’s hair behind his ears. “The entire time we were in that
town I was so scared that none of this was real. It is real, isn’t it Sam?”
Sam searched Dean’s eyes. “It’s real Dean.” He nodded.
“Do you love me?”
“Of course I..” Sam began but Dean put a finger to his lips.
“Sam.” Dean’s eyes were intent with desperation. “I need to know. I know you love me. I’m your brother. But,
do you love me?” He emphasized the word love and it finally dawned on Sam. “I mean, do you really love me,
Sammy?”
All the times Dean had one night stands and shots in the dark. All the people he’d ever been with. They were
shadows, they weren’t real. They were a release for Dean. They were a way for him to feel something other
than pain and death. He wanted something real. That was the expression in his brother’s eyes. That was the
message he had for Sam. That had always been the message. It should have been loud and clear. Sam
should have picked up on it a long time ago if he hadn’t been so wrapped up in his own emotions.
The truth of love was bittersweet. It was hard and soft. Love got people through the darkest of times, Sam
knew that. For him and his brother, Love was the only thing that kept them sane. What kind of love did Dean
want? What more could he give than what he already had given?
“I’ll understand if you don’t. I just want to know.” Dean said as he sighed.
“Yes.” Sam shot out before Dean could shut down again.
“Yes?” Dean looked like he couldn’t believe his ears.
“I love you Dean. This isn’t just want or need, I –love- you.” Sam declared fervently.
Chapter Fifteen
“Love me.” Dean whispered as he petted Sam’s neck. “No one ever has, you know.”
“I’ve always loved you, Dean. You just wouldn’t let me.” Sam shifted. He traced his fingers up one of Dean’s
arms. “You’ve never been able to let go.” He cupped Dean’s cheek. “Kiss me.”
It seemed pointless to struggle now, after everything. Dean sighed and drew closer to Sam. He chuckled.
“What?” Sam’s lips turned upwards into a slight pout.
“Us. We’re something else, you know? A king sized bed in a sleaze motel? Sam, you deserve so much
better than this. I wish I could give you more. All I give you is death and pain.”
“Not anymore.”
Sam pulled his hand away from Dean’s cheek. He knelt on the bed and pulled Dean up with him. “No more
doubts, Dean.” He whispered. “Let me show you how much I love you, ok? How much it doesn’t matter what
you want. You can have it. Where we sleep doesn’t matter, as long as I’m with you.”
Dean closed his eyes. Maybe this was some kind of fucked up dream. When he opened them, Sam was in
the middle of helping him remove his own shorts. The electricity between them sparkled. Dean licked his
lips. Denied his hearts desire for so long it was hard to believe this was real. “Sam.” He whispered as he
leant in to brush his lips against his brother’s cheek. “
“You want me don’t you?” Sam’s fingers teased the hairs above his lover’s shaft. “Being inside you… God,
Dean, I loved it. I want you to feel the same thing. I want you to fill me and show me how to please you.” He
touched the length of the long shaft that nudged against his thigh.
“I want you more than I can say.” Dean’s hands found their way to Sam’s skin and once he started touching
he couldn’t stop. “But this has to be done right. I swear, Sam. If we only have one perfect memory together I
want this to be it. I love you, Sammy, with everything I have.”
Sam could hear the sincerity and it hit him hard. He could not have loved Dean more than that moment. He
leant back down on the bed and arranged his long legs on either side of Dean. “Show me.”
He smiled and Sam’s heart bloomed. He could see Dean in that smile and it was just everything he wanted.
“This is too damn good to be true.” Dean whispered. “I just don’t get this lucky.”
“Dean, let it go.” Sam reached for his brother and kissed him.
The sweet taste of Sam’s mouth set off all the pent up desire in Dean he’d ever kept buried. His tongue
swept into the sensual cavern that greeted him with equal need. Their bodies pressed together. Sam’s legs
wrapped around Dean and kept him firmly in place. He kissed and licked, his tongue worked every sensitive
spot he could find. Soon Sam whimpered and wiggled under him. His cock was painfully hard at this point
and it was all he could do not to hurry things. He reached for the lube and condoms. With a shudder he
coated his fingers. Dean smiled whiled Sam’s hands roamed his body. There was so much to touch and
feel.
He smiled when Sam reached for the condom and wiggled it between two fingers. His dark eyes flared with
passion, the smile solely for Dean alone. “Maybe I don’t have a lot of experience, but I do know one thing.”
Sam tore open the condom package with his teeth. “I know what turns you on.”
“Mmm.” Dean’s smile was dangerous. “You don’t have any idea what’s coming. Children shouldn’t play with
fire, you know. Lift your legs over my shoulders.”
Sam snickered, “You’re not serious? Do you have any idea how ridiculous that would look? My long legs
hanging over your shoulders?” At Dean’s expression his smile faded. “You are serious.”
“Sam.” Dean said in a no-nonsense tone. “It’s for your own good. It’s just that the first time really hurts.”
Sam looked a little more worried, “How badly?”
“I know what I’m doing; I’ll make it good for you, but it –will- hurt. I’ll stretch you as much as I can; you’ve got to
trust me on this Sammy, legs up now.” When Dean got that tone of voice Sam knew better than to try and
argue.
Sam sighed and grumbled. “This is damned uncomfortable.”
Dean waited until Sam was adjusted and slid one finger up and down the crease of Sam’s ass, eliciting a
moan of frustration from the younger Winchester. “Patience” Dean purred. “Look at me, don’t think, just look
right at me.” He wiggled one finger in.
Sam’s eyes widened, he grunted and clutched Dean’s shoulders, nearly losing the condom in the
bedsheets. “Shit…that hurts…” He panted.
“Easy, easy. I’ve got you.” Dean kissed Sam’s jaw. “Relax. Just relax. Put the condom on me.” He slid his
finger in further and began to stretch a little.
Sam’s hand shook as he opened the condom and fumbled to get it on his brother’s cock. It was something
to concentrate on while he felt like his ass was being ripped open. He had never thought there would be this
much pain but just when he thought he couldn’t take anymore, Dean slid a second finger inside. Sam cried
out. “n-no. Wait. Hurts.” He moaned.
“I know Sammy.” Dean said softly. He paused and looked into his brother’s eyes. “We can stop anytime you
want. I promise it gets better.”
“Just … hold on. Let me breathe.” Sam whimpered as he fought tears of pain. After a few moments passed,
Sam’s fingers relaxed on Dean’s shoulders and he nodded. “Ok, I’m ok.” Dean started to move his fingers
with a stretch and slide motion that made Sam dizzy. He went deeper and deeper until something shot a
flare of heat down his spine. “Holy shit!” He gasped. “Oh God!”
Dean grinned and knew that the pain was about to be quickly forgotten. He swiveled his fingers over the tiny
nub he’d found and was rewarded with the most intriguing sounds from Sam’s quivering lips.
“Oh Dean, Dean fuck! Dean…” Sam had never felt anything like this in his life. Even getting his cock sucked
didn’t compare to whatever it was Dean was doing to him. He felt Dean’s shaft solid against his thigh and
decided he’d had enough of fingers. “Now, ready now. Please. I don’t want to come without you inside me.
Please.” Sam begged.
Dean removed his fingers and obliged. Slowly he pushed in. As he did he leant to capture Sam’s lips and
silence the scream that followed his first thrust. He pulled his lips away to look at Sam’s shocked face. “You’
re filled, now Sam, with me.” Dean whispered. “I’m inside you, and you belong to me completely now. No
one else can do this but me, do you understand? I’ll kill them, human or not, and that’s a promise.”
The look in Dean’s eyes almost frightened him. Sam nodded vigorously. “Don’t want anyone else, want you.
Want you to move. Move Dean.”
And Dean did move. Time ceased to exist as Sam’s cries filled the motel room, silenced every now and then
by savage, passionate kisses. Dean had never lost control during sex and he wasn’t about to now. This was
important; it had to be perfect for Sam. He angled each thrust to rub his brother’s prostrate. He held out as
long as he could, “Come Sammy.” He whispered when he felt his brother start to shudder.
Sam felt the world sweep away and all shadows drop. He was bathed in warmth. Air rushed around him. He
could scream and no one care because it wasn’t a scream of pain. He couldn’t explain it. Dean worked them
both to frenzy and Sam’s warm seed spilled finally. He could only hold on to Dean and tremble.
He felt his brother shudder and lose himself in the tight warmth. Hot seed filled him and he could only hold
on.
They were both quiet when Dean finally pulled out of Sam and let his brother’s trembling legs down. Sam
wrapped himself around Dean, the trembles didn’t cease. “Are you ok?” Dean tried to tilt his brother’s chin
up to look into his eyes.
“I’ve never felt better than this, Dean.” Sam whispered. “I love you so much.”
“I love you too, Sammy.” Dean smiled.
It was the first time Sam was at a crossroads and his life could go either way that he knew exactly which
direction he wanted to take. He didn’t care that their lives would always be roaming the land like gypsies. He
didn’t care that they would never have a proper home, or time just for themselves. He didn’t care as long as
Dean loved him and wanted him.
As for Dean, he was content to stay like this as long as possible. His most guarded secret wish had come
true. He had Sam. He had a light at the end of the tunnel.
Dean’s world of shadows never seemed so bright.
Finis
Work was new and different for Sam that day. His step was lighter and his eyes were bright. His boss even
noticed that he seemed a bit less nervous than his first day. She seemed pleased with him. He couldn’t get
what happened with Dean out of his head. He had been so sure that he would pull away and pretend it didn’t
happen. Instead, Dean had actually woken up enough to give him a kiss in the morning and mumble
something about having a good day. He shouldn’t feel so happy, it ought to unnerve him. This was a different
side of Dean, a more tender side of him. He wasn’t sure he could get used to it.
“Well, Hello.” A familiar voice said as it brought him out of his thoughts. “Sam isn’t it?” He turned to see
Angela Darling, the women they’d met at the Carnival last night. “I thought it was you.”
Sam smiled, she was pretty good looking and easy to talk to. “Yeah” he stamped a book for a student. She
had a few books to check out herself. “You also a student?”
Angela nodded, her eyebrows climbed when she noticed the mark on Sam’s face. “You get into a fight?”
“Huh?” Sam had been in a hurry getting dressed that morning and hadn’t noticed the noticeable bruise on
his jaw. “Shit” he glanced over at a nearby mirror, and before he thought about it “I’m going to kill him.”
Angela chuckled, “That’s some hicky. Whoever he is, he’s a lucky guy.”
Sam cleared his throat, his ears slightly red. “It’s my lunch break shortly; you wanna grab something to eat?”
Maybe he could hit her up for some more information.
“Sure, Sam, what’s your pleasure?”
Sam’s cell phone rang just then. Dean. His heart skipped. “Hold that thought.” He told Angela with a wide
grin, “Hey.”
“Sammy” said Dean in his usual way. “You ok to talk?”
“Sure, what?”
“Hey, I found some disturbed ground in the woods by the Carnival.”
“Dean!” Sam said sharply, “What are you doing out there alone?”
“Working” Dean retorted as if that should be obvious. “You remember those reports we came across bout
people who killed themselves when the Carnival left, well, I’ve been checking it out this morning.”
“Uhm, thought you’d be resting?” Sam could have kicked himself when he heard Dean scoff.
“Not now, Sammy.” Dean cut him off. “Well, I found something and I’m checking it out. Come out here after
work. When are you done there?”
“In four hours.” Sam sighed. “How the hell am I supposed to get there if you’ve got the car?”
“Walk. It’s only twenty minutes from the University.” Dean snorted, “And Sam.”
“What?”
“I can still feel you in my ass. A walk serves you right for what I went through driving the Impala here.” Dean
snapped the phone shut before Sam could get off a sufficiently crack in response.
“Your guy?” Angela raised an eyebrow.
Sam cleared his throat, “Uh-my older brother Dean.” He said quickly. “He’s a jerk.”
“I see.” Angela smirked. “Well, come on. Let’s talk about it over lunch.”
*
At the café Sam stirred his espresso while Angela had tea. “You wanna talk about it?” She offered.
How do you talk about the fact that you’re in love with your brother and just had the best sex of your life? Sam
stared at her, unable to decide whether or not to trust this woman. He cleared his throat, “Uh. Not really much
to talk about.”
“Sure, I can see how it can be a little sticky.” Angela didn’t comment further. She smiled when Sam changed
the subject.
“So tell me more about the Carnival, has it always come here?”
Angela considered the question and nodded, “Ever since I can remember, yes. No one knows who runs it; it
just seems to run itself.”
“What about that Carousel? Why do the kids like it so much? I mean, you just turn around and around.”
“You know kids, lots of imagination.” She stirred some sugar into her tea.
“Have you been on it?”
She sipped her tea, “When I was younger, I went on it all the time. We’ve all been on it.”
“When’s the last time you were on it?”
“I was eighteen.” She admitted.
“You went on it when you were eighteen?” Sam grinned.
Angela laughed, “You’ll understand if you give it a go. There’s just something magical you know? The
different monsters and the challenges.”
“Challenges?”
“Oh hell, I don’t remember.” She shook her head. “It was a long time ago, Sam. I was young and wanted to
be part of the crowd. We made up stuff. It’s all making believe, anyway. It’s not like dragons and witches are
real.” She scoffed. “My husband died because he was high, not because of some damn game.”
She stood up, “Listen Sam, I have to go. It’s been nice talking to you.”
“Game? Angela do you mind meeting me later? I would really like to know more about this game you’re
talking about.”
“Sam, look. I really have to go. I have a class.”
“Angela!” Sam called after her, but she had already walked away. “Damnit.”
He ran his hand through his hair, the more he found out about the Carousel the more questions he had. And
the more he worried about Dean being at the Carnival alone.
*
Dean watched the carnies as they worked on their rides and stalls. The Carnival was open, but they had not
said much to him. In fact, they pretty much ignored him. Dean was not used to being ignored. He got the fact
that a lot of them were deaf, but hell they could see him. He spent most of the morning studying the woods in
daylight. He had to admit he needed distraction. When he woke up that morning and Sam was at work his
mind had started to wander. The sex had been fantastic; his mind was blown by it. It had almost been too
good. It was like someone had given him the perfect Sam and Dean had known something was wrong from
the beginning.
It was instinct; he’d got it from his father. He knew that last night was special in many ways and Sam had
wanted it as much as he did. Dean leant against a fence and ran his hand through his hair. If he were a
smoker, he’d have taken out a cigarette by now. The place gave him the creeps. It wasn’t just because the
people here were different. It was the whole vibe he got from it. Dean wanted to accept that Sam loved him
and needed him. He wanted to know for sure that it wasn’t something induced. He’d lost control the night
before and what small amount of self respect he had was already frayed. Now he’d let his own brother fuck
him and he’d loved it. Hell, he wanted it again. He couldn’t stop thinking about Sam’s cock buried inside him.
Sam’s whimpering. God, it was like being on a drug he couldn’t kick. He was supposed to look after Sam,
not lead him into hell.
Sam would tell him that Dean couldn’t make all the choices. That, however, was the elder brother’s
prerogative. He made the difficult decisions for the both of them. He started when he heard a soft voice
speak.
“Your spirit is very loud, Dean Winchester.”
Dean turned to the woman who stood before him. A beauty in black she made his head spin with just how
stunning she was. She gave him a short bow of respect which made him twitch. “Who are you and how do
you know my name?”
“You may call me Sia.”
“That’s not your real name.” Dean objected.
“My real name is not important.”
“You’re right; I can easily kill you without knowing it.” Dean said with a flash of a smile. “My brother was with
you last night when I couldn’t find him, wasn’t he?”
“Correct.” She nodded. “Sam Winchester is scheduled to ride the Carousel tonight.”
“Guess again.” Dean snarled as he pulled out his gun. He didn’t care that people could see them. Her
pleasant smile irritated him, the slow and easy way she spoke, the tone of perfect serenity in her voice.
“You will not interfere.”
A group of civilians surrounded her and blocked Dean’s shot. Their eyes were glazed over, as though they
had no control over their actions. Dean cursed. “The fuck I won’t. You can’t hide behind humans forever.”
“On the contrary” She responded. “You will be the main attraction.”
Dean snarled “Not this time.” One thing a good hunter knew was when to run. Dean saw the other carnies
coming at him and sprinted. They charged towards him, but Dean was really damn good at running. He leapt
into the Impala and squealed away. He’d be damned if a bunch of clowns were going to catch him.
*
Sam was surprised when he saw Dean come into the library with an extremely agitated, out of breath
expression. “Hey…what ha—“
“Bathroom, now” Dean commanded. “Tell them you are taking a break.”
Sam knew better than to argue with that attitude and followed Dean into the bathroom. “What’s going on?
You said to meet you there.”
“We are getting the hell out of this town right now.” Dean said his voice sharp. “And don’t fucking argue with
me.”
“Dean, you” Sam frowned. “We can’t just leave. Listen I talked with Angela again.”
Dean’s voice rose to a dangerously high level. “We’re leaving Sam. If I have to knock you out and tie you up,
we are leaving before sunset, in fact. Now would be preferable. Tell your boss something came up. I don’t
fucking care what you tell her.”
“Dean, calm down. Whatever’s going on, we’ll deal with it.” Sam pleaded as he reached over. To his surprise
and dismay, Dean flinched away from him.
“I said don’t argue with me. For once, Sam, do as you’re fucking told. Don’t give me this deal crap. Not now.
Now get your crap and meet me outside. You’ve got five minutes.” Dean stormed out.
Sam stared after him in shock. He’d never seen Dean that upset before and yeah, he would do what he was
told for once. With a sigh he tried to quickly explain to his boss that his cousin in Idaho had died and they
were needed. The excuse didn’t pan over well but it was the only thing he could think of and in record time
Sam was in the Impala. “Do we need to go back to the hotel?”
“No, I checked us out.” Dean squealed out of the parking lot and beat speed records getting out of town.
*
It was an hour later before Sam finally said something. “Can you at least tell me what happened?”
“No.” Dean said shortly. He fumbled for a cassette and stuffed it in. He’d rather listen to Ozzy right now.
“Ok, how about where we’re going?”
“Anywhere but back there” Dean growled.
*
It was another two hours before Dean pulled the car over at a rest stop and killed the engine. He was a hell
of a lot calmer even though it was much later at night. “Sammy. I’m sorry.” He worked the words out carefully.
“I’m sorry too.” Sam murmured. “What happened?”
“I had to get you away from there. They were.” He cleared his throat. “They said you had an appointment to
ride the Carousel.”
Sam’s eyebrows rose. “How would they know?”
“She knew our names, Sam. This thing is way bigger than I know how to deal with. We need help. We need
Dad.”
“Good luck with getting him on the phone.” Sam rolled his eyes. “and Dean, I don’t want to deal with Dad
right now. I want you to talk to me. Not about what happened right now, but about what happened last night.”
“What’s to talk about?” Dean reached for a soda from their fridge pack. He looked away from Sam.
“Sex, really damn good sex, us, you and me, love.” Sam listed things off his fingers. “What happens now?
What are we going to do, Dean?”
“Have more sex?” Dean tried humor to dodge the question, he half smiled at Sam who glared at him. “I’m
not the sharing and caring type, Sam. You know that.”
Sam sighed, “You don’t even want to think about it, do you? Alright, never mind. Forget I said anything.” He
turned and stared out of the window. “Have it your way, its just sex.”
“You make it sound like I don’t give a shit.” Dean put the soda down. “Sam.” He frowned. “Sam, I just have a
lot to process here.”
“Then process Dean. I’m not a fucking whore for you to sleep with when you feel like it. Get –that- through
your head right now. If that’s your plan, count me out of it.” Sam snapped.
“I don’t think you’re a whore, Sam. I think you’re my brother, and whether or not that even registers with you, I
don’t know. But it does to me. This is so fucked up on so many levels I don’t even know where to begin. I love
our family, Sam. It’s everything to me. You’re all I have. I don’t want.” He fought to keep the emotion from
spilling into his face. “I don’t want. I don’t want to screw up our family by screwing up you.”
Sam’s mouth opened as he stared at Dean, he saw raw emotion for the first time in a while in his brother’s
eyes. It made sense now. “Dean, Dean…” He reached over and threaded their fingers together. “You haven’t
done anything wrong. You haven’t done anything I didn’t want.”
“That’s the problem, Sam. I made you want it. I could have stopped it from happening. I could have fought it.”
“I wouldn’t have let you.” Sam smiled. He scooted over and leant against Dean. “I won’t leave you Dean. I
swear it.”
Dean sighed and drew his arm around Sam. They were so totally screwed and he knew it. He frowned when
he saw the road sign ahead. “Sammy did you see me turn around?”
Sam straightened, “No, why?”
Dean pointed out the sign.
“Fuck.” Sam stared.
“Welcome to Fairmount.” Dean read. “I told you this was way out of our league.”
Chapter Eleven
Dean got out of the Impala and glared at the sign. The expression on his face worried Sam; it was a mixture
of anger and anguish. Dean’s temper mounted, he should have known something was wrong. It was all too
perfect. He stood there for several minutes as fumes exuded from his eyes.
Sam rested his arms on the Impala while he studied Dean. The man was more than a little angry. He knew
his brother and he knew when Dean was mad. “Dean…” He said tentatively.
“Sammy.” Dean exhaled. “We’re in big trouble here. I need you to tell me everything that happened, anything
you might have missed.”
They got back into the car and Sam shifted to look at Dean. He explained the encounter in the Carvan and
once he got to a certain point, Dean stopped him.
“Hold on, hold on.” Dean said. “She gave you tea? Did you drink it?”
“Well, yeah.” Sam shrugged, “So then …”
“Sam!” Dean reached over and smacked him upside the head. “You fell for the oldest trick in the book. I can’t
believe you.” He scoffed.
“Sorry, I thought she was being nice.” Sam rubbed his head.
“Nice.” Dean snorted. “Christ, Sam. You are a lamb to the fucking slaughter sometimes. You trust people too
easily. So this chick, she tells you what?”
“I told you, that you’re going to die and the only thing I can do is choose how it happens.”
“That’s bullshit, Sam. Its mind screwing bullshit, they’ve got you so wound up you’ll think anything they say is
gospel.” Dean shook his head, “We’ve got to break the spell.”
“How?” Sam lifted up his hands. “Do you know how to stop magic this big?”
“No. Ok…let me think.” Dean reached for John’s journal and started to leaf through it. “This town’s nowhere
in the journal.” He paused at one page where he found the word magic and read onward a few pages until
he found something interesting. “It says here that spells are broken when the subject wakes up. What the
fuck does that mean, wake up? Wait, wait.” Dean read a bit more. “Dad says that magic comes in different
forms, the willing and the accidental. Some people set off magic, some people walk into it and some people
cast it.”
“Christ, can he be any more difficult to understand?” Sam grunted. “I don’t feel like I’m sleeping, Dean.”
“I don’t think it’s that kind of waking up, Sam. It’s like you’re under her control. Dad also says that people who
practice magic use the weaknesses and strengths of their victims against them. He talks about running into
a Shaman in Orleans who could cast a waking spell on his victims. He gained power through them. He used
their weaknesses and strengths against them. Maybe we’re dealing with the same kind of thing. And you
know what this means, don’t you?”
“What?”
“She gave you that vision.” Dean said triumphantly. “Just to fuck with you so she could cast her spell.”
“Read more, does Dad say anything about how this works?”
“Dad says that the victim has no choice but to ride out the spell. If they are strong, they will wake up, if not.”
Dean paused and looked slightly ill.
“If not, what? Let me see that.” Sam took the book from Dean and flipped through the pages. “This is right
after Dad’s notes on Grim Reapers. He says this type of spell caster is a mortal version of a Reaper, Dean.
They take energy from souls and disperse it as they see fit. They keep some energy for themselves for
power.”
“I get it, so what’s up with the Carousel and why do they want you on it?”
“The sleeper, I guess that’s me, performs a task. The task is designated as he walks the foci. That’s what
the Carousel is, a focal point. If the sleeper can perform the task, they will wake up. If they cannot….yeah,
well that explains what happened to Angela’s husband. The men killed themselves because they could not
complete the task.”
“How do we destroy the foci?” Dean asked grimly.
“Dad says it can’t be destroyed.” Sam closed the book. “The focus is an object from Hell and only a Demon
from Hell can send it back. Dad only makes a few notes that say to bury the focus and salt it.”
Dean snapped his fingers. “The disturbed earth I found. It was discolored from the rest of the woods. Do you
think that someone found it? The Carousel I mean?”
“Probably a long time ago” Sam shrugged, “Who knows.”
“Those kids you saw were from the 20s or something right?”
“The depression, yeah” Sam nodded.
“That would make sense, a lot of crap happening around then.” Dean rubbed his neck. “Maybe this thing
came into existence back then.”
“So we can’t break the spell.” Sam swallowed, “Dean there’s only one thing to do.”
“Guess there’s a ride with your name on it.” Dean nodded.
Sam gave a little sigh and agreed.
“Hey.” Dean reached over and put his hand on Sam’s neck, a thumb caressed the spot he’d made on his
brother’s jaw. There was a rare expression in his eyes, they showed feeling, love. “I have faith in you Sammy.
Just tell me something.”
Sam leant his head into Dean’s hand. “What?”
“Tell me that when you wake up, you won’t regret this.”
“Regret what?”
Dean pulled Sam into his arms and kissed him. The kiss was far from gentle. It was thorough and
dominated him completely. Sam let Dean plunder his mouth as he opened his lips to meet his lover’s hot
tongue. They met passion for passion, need for need. Even if it wasn’t right, Dean couldn’t keep it at bay any
longer. When they parted, Dean smiled at Sam sadly. “I had to kiss you. If this is the last time and if when you
wake up you don’t remember or don’t want what happened, I’ll understand, Sam. I won’t bring it up again.”
“Dean.” Sam laughed softly. “I’ve wanted you before this.”
“You never let on.”
“You never asked and I’m good at changing the subject.”
“How long have you wanted me?” Dean titled his head, curious. “Really?”
Sam cleared his throat. “Remember that night when you held me in your arms after my famous date that
never was?”
“Christ. You know you should have said something.” Dean grumbled.
“At that time, don’t be stupid. You’d never have taken me seriously.” Sam shook his head. He sighed and
stroked the side of his brother’s face. “Listen, whatever happens. I wanted this long before this spell, really
wanted it. We had too much other shit to deal with. But this is not a side effect, ok? Trust me.”
“I trust you, Sam.”
“Then let’s do this.” Sam squeezed Dean’s hand. “I will survive, Dean.”
The brothers pulled apart and Dean drove the Impala back to Fairmount, to the Carnival and to whatever was
in store for them.
Chapter Twelve
They were met at the entrance to the Carnival by a tiny man who didn’t seem at all pleased to see them. In
fact, the place wasn’t all that quiet. There were people still on the rides. Lights and music flashed around
them. Dean didn’t look too happy, there were too many innocent bystanders. This wasn’t going to be nice
and clean. He patted Sam’s shoulder, knowing how nervous his brother was. “I’m here, it’s cool.”
Of course, they were checked for weapons almost immediately. Dean had to spend several minutes while
he was disarmed and Sam smirked as he watched the sheer amount of guns and knives Dean had hidden
on him. “Preparation is everything.” Dean reminded Sam with a wink.
That wink caused a dark flush down Sam’s neck and he glared at his brother. “Can’t you ever be serious?”
“I’m always serious.” Dean eyed the midget. “Ya done patting me down, Bilbo?” He only received a grunt for
that comment. They directed the boys where they were expected.
“They knew we were coming back.” Sam didn’t have to say what they both knew.
Dean didn’t respond, he stuck his hands in his pockets and walked with Sam towards the Carousel. The
line was not long and they saw that Sia had waited for them. He itched to kill her; his eyes were fixed on the
woman with a promise of death. Before this night was done, she would get hers.
“Dean and Sam Winchester” She said with a smile. “How nice to see you again, welcome.” She bowed
politely. The woman’s silk dress was straight from the orient with its dragons, flowers and birds. The
material was brilliant silver, gold and black and the dress flowed with every move she made. Her long black
hair was spiraled up in curls and ribbon. She was the personification of beauty.
“What are you?” Sam asked her plainly.
“You know what I am, Sam.” She replied.
“A mortal demon wannabe” Dean decided tersely. “Is this step seven in how to become a Demon in ten easy
steps? Because you know, there’s a quick and easy method. I can just send you to hell.”
Her smile was pleasant. “You’re very amusing, Dean. I think you should let your brother speak. Sam, you
have something to say?”
“I know what you want.” Sam said. “And I know what you’ve done to me. My question is why me? I’m older
than you usually take.”
“You know what I am, Sam.” She bowed her head. “And I knew who you were the moment you crossed my
border. What I take of you will go where it should.”
“To who?”
“You know who it is going to Sam.”
“You work for him?” Sam’s eyes narrowed.
The oriental woman smiled. “You think too linearly, Sam. The ride is waiting.” She looked over to it. “Are you
ready?”
“What about Dean?”
“Your choices will affect his fate.” She simply nodded and two large men stepped up to either side of Dean,
they were twins, dark skinned, tattooed and mean looking.
Dean looked up one then the other, he looked back at Sam. “You can do it, Sammy.”
Sam grunted and walked towards the line of children who ranged in ages. He glanced back once at Dean
and when he stepped passed the sign the Carousel music rang in his ears. He showed his id to the tall
scaly man who waved him through. Sam studied the various fantastic creatures. He saw that the timer was
running out, the ride would start soon. He had to make a choice. He looked back to try and see Dean but the
rest of the fair was in a haze. He opted finally for what looked like a combination between a dragon and a
horse and swung one long leg over the saddle.
Dean watched Sam choose and the Carousel begin to turn. He had a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach.
The Carousel poles bobbed up and down and he saw Sam look back for him. His heart hurt as well as his
head. In fact, the headache was getting worse. Dean groaned the third time he saw Sam come around in the
Carousel. He couldn’t focus any more from the pain.
*
On the Carousel, Sam felt odd. He glanced over at a young girl who waved and smiled at him from the back
of a sea horse. This was… absurd. He wasn’t six years old; he’d never had the chance to be six years old. At
six he was watching Dean learn how to fight. At six he was learning how to shoot. Fantasy didn’t exist. At six
he had already seen his fair share of horror. He never had the chance for imagination. He knew it was there.
“I’m your brother Sam. This isn’t right.” Dean’s words echoed in his mind. “Maybe you’ve forgotten, but I
haven’t.”
The music rang in his ears. The eerie Carousel music meant to be cheerful grated on his every nerve. It was
cold and he buttoned his jacket. The landscape changed with every turn of the Carousel. It went from Spring
to Summer to Winter then to Fall and back again. He felt the snowflakes fall on his hair only to melt in the
summer sun.
“You’re all I have, you and Dad.” Dean’s voice echoed in his head. “As long as I’m around, nothing bad is
ever going to happen to you.”
He fell. Somehow, he fell. The fall leaves crumpled around him and Dean fell with him. It was fall again; they
roughhoused in the crackled leaves. Sam was eighteen and Dean was just back from training. How had he
forgotten this memory?
“It’s good to see you again, Sammy.” Dean had placed a kiss on his forehead. “A date? Dad said you had a
date? Who dates a geek?”
“Yeah, Victoria.” Sam had smiled. “Her father owns the theatre.” Sam had somehow managed to pin Dean
and straddled him.
“Oooh, Victoria." Dean tickled Sam.
"She likes books.” Sam explained. "Hey, stop it! Not fair."
“She sounds rich, owns a theatre huh? How’d you meet her?”
“I saw one of the plays she was in.”
“She’s an actress?” Dean had started to laugh even when Sam rewarded him with a punchl. “She sounds
hot. When can I meet her?”
“Tonight. She’s coming to pick me up.”
“She’s picking –you- up? Well that’s new.” Dean chuckled. “How did you meet her?”
“Shut up. It’s not like you’ll let me use the Impala.” Sam retorted. “A job, of course, Dad knows her dad.”
Dean had frowned. “You’re wearing that shirt? Dude, that’s three years old, and I think it was mine.”
“It’s comfortable. She didn’t want me to dress up.” Sam shrugged.
“Sounds like a dream.” Dean had reached up to touch his hair. “Your hair’s getting long.”
Sam remembered crying in Dean’s arms that night. Victoria’s father had told her she couldn’t see him. He
was held tight and rocked for the night in the arms of the man he loved. That was the night that Sam knew in
his heart who he truly loved.
“No. You can’t have that memory you son of a bitch!” Sam knew now what was going on. “No. I won’t let you
take anything from me. You can’t have Dean! You can’t have him!” Sam screamed at the air around him as
he shook with rage. “Get on with it, give me the task. You can’t take anything from me. I won’t let you.”
Sam closed his eyes and when they opened, they were a sparkling black not unlike the darkness of
possession. “So help me God I will make you pay. I will make you pay if you try and take him.”
*
Dean stared at Sia who watched the Carousel. He’d been forced to his knees from the pain of the headache.
“Leave him alone.” Even in extreme pain, Dean was hard to keep down. He had to be forced.
“He’s just begun to fight. I knew he had energy in him; this is more than I dreamed possible.”
Dean could swear he saw the woman flash in and out of existence like a ghost or a shade. He scowled.
What the hell was going on?
“Sammy…” He whispered as he stared at the Carousel. He frowned when he saw the ride come around
again and he couldn’t see Sam clearly. “Sammy.”
There was an explosion on the Carnival which instantly cleared the pain from Dean’s head. He leapt to his
feet. “Sam!”
Kids ran off the Carousel and away screaming. Another explosion ripped through it. A dark figure stood in the
middle of the fire, flames licking around him. Dean’s heart jumped to his throat. He dove for one of the men
who was holding his weapons in a satchel and kicked him senseless. Dean didn’t need weapons to be
effective. He pulled out his shotgun and cocked it.
The oriental woman continued to flicker like something from a dream. A third explosion made her scream.
Sam walked off the Carousel as fire trailed him. It licked around his boots and dissipated. Sam stood where
he was a dark figure at the edge of the flames.
The oriental woman fell; she turned a pleased smile to Dean. “Only a demon could send it back to hell.”
Realization dawned on Dean. They had planned it all along. They used Sam. She had –wanted- to destroy
the Carousel. Somehow she’d known he would.
“Sammy.” Dean said tentatively as he held the shotgun.
Sam walked forward into the light and the look in his brother’s eyes made Dean’s heart break.
He saw his brother point at the woman, something flashed from his fingers and jolted towards her. He wasn’
t sure what exactly it was but it consumed the woman instantly and the other Carnies scattered.
Sam walked towards Dean, but it wasn’t Sam. It couldn’t be Sam. His eyes were a pitch black, his hair was
wild and his clothing smoked. It wasn' t Sam even though it looked just like him.
Dean couldn’t do it, he couldn’t fire. Instead, he ran.
Into the woods.
Chapter Thirteen
Dean was glad he’d remembered to bring the gun and it was loaded. The problem was he couldn’t use it on
Sam. Still, it’d make an effective club when the time came. His mind raced, they’d been played from the very
start. This whole thing was a set up. Somehow, the fortune teller had used them to get rid of the Carousel.
So many children had run off that thing. He swallowed heavily as he rested for a minute behind a tree. He
needed time to think and to plan. Unfortunately he didn’t have that luxury. He didn’t know what was in Sam
and what had happened. All he knew was that if he didn’t figure out a way out of this mess, he’d lose Sam
forever.
He heard rustling behind him and turned to spot Sam in the distance. He heard Sam’s voice call towards
him. “Dean! Dean where are you?” It sounded like his brother, it sounded worried. Dean knew better.
He kept going. Eventually he’d find a way out of these woods. Damn nature. He hated nature. He liked
Asphalt. Asphalt was man’s best friend. Anything that wasn’t on asphalt was going to be a pain in the ass.
He found a tree tall enough to climb and get an idea of where to go next. It looked like he was half way
between the town and the Carnival. He could see the flames. Cop cars and Ambulances were everywhere.
Shit, he had to get to the Impala. He’d have to go back. Dean shimmied down the tree only feel something
grip his shoulder and bunch into his shirt. “Dean.” A relieved voice whispered. “What the hell?” Sam stared
back at him.
“That’s what I’d like to know.” Dean shoved Sam away from him and backed off. He held the gun straight at
Sam. “Don’t come any closer.”
Sam cleared his throat. “Hey, it’s me. What’s going on Dean? I walked off the Carousel and now it’s
burning.” His words were heartfelt and it tore at Dean’s gut.
Dean wanted so much to believe it was Sam. His hand shook.
Sam stepped towards him; he let the gun point directly into his chest. “It’s me, Dean.” He rasped. “Trust me.”
Dean stared into Sam’s eyes, they were no longer black. His breath came in sharp gasps as he tried to
process. Finally, Dean could only lower the gun. For a long time they stood there. Sam reached out to grasp
his brother’s forearms. “It’s over, Dean.” His voice was soft.
In the distance, a church bell chimed one o’clock in the morning.
Dean drew Sam into his arms in a desperate embrace. He felt Sam’s hands run down his back and slide
under his jeans. His cock reacted quickly; clearly it didn’t care what was or was not in Sam. How their
clothing came off, Dean didn’t know. His fingers raked his brother’s long thighs as their tongues tangled in a
frenzy of heat. Sam quivered and mewled like a kitten that wanted more attention.
“Need you, Dean.” Sam begged.
It was wild and unnatural and they were wrapped in fire. Dean couldn’t have stopped if he’d wanted to. This
was a force that was beyond his control. The passion between him and Sam had ignited to the point of no
return. He knew it wasn’t right but he no longer cared. He just wanted Sam. He needed Sam. He desperately
wanted Sam to love him too and to need him just as much. The words Sam spoke had been exactly what he
wanted to hear. If that had not been enough to make him pause it was the next thing Sam whispered in his
ear.
“Want you inside me, now.”
Normally Dean would have been completely willing to comply, but those words doused him like a cold
shower. Dean attempted to pull away, “No, Sammy. Not like this, you’ve not done this before.”
“Don’t care.” Sam murmured. “Want to feel you.”
“Sammy no” Dean stopped pulling away. His hands cupped Sam’s cheeks. “I want you badly, but not like
this. We should go back, get the Impala and leave here.”
Sam’s hands had other ideas. One huge one was already closed around Dean’s cock and rubbed it
insistently. “I think parts of you want otherwise.” He kissed one of the palms that cupped his face. “You can’t
wait to be buried inside me, I want you too.” He shook out of Dean’s hands and claimed his lips.
“It has to be right.” Dean moaned. “Sammy…”
“Prepare me, Dean.”
“No condoms, no lube…” Dean rasped as he fought for control. Sam’s fingers slipped over the tip of his cock
and teased the head.
“I have a condom.” Sam produced one from his discarded jacket. He ripped the package open and slipped it
out. “You said you were going to show me out to put this on using my mouth. I think I have an idea how.” Sam
sank to his knees and Dean braced himself against the tree.
“Oh God” the words rang in Dean’s head. He couldn’t stop this. No matter how much he wanted to he just
couldn’t stop this.
He stared down; the sight of Sam as he slipped the condom over his shaft would have been enough to push
him over the edge. Dean’s brain exploded when Sam’s mouth closed over the tip of his cock and his lips
pushed the rest of the condom on. All he could think of was that Sam was a fast learner.
“God…” Dean croaked out as Sam kissed his way up his stomach.
“Do you want me, Dean?” His brother whispered.
The question was unnecessary, Dean could only groan in acknowledgement. He was too far gone to notice
the way Sam’s eyes flickered with dark shadows.
*
Sam walked off the Carousel in a daze. People were everywhere, frantic and frightened. Police sirens wailed
in the distance. He blinked in confusion when he saw the oriental woman standing before him. “Thank you
Sam.” She whispered softly. “Thank you.”
“What happened?”
“It’s over, Sam. One thousand years. It’s finally over. You broke his hold on me. Dean needs you now. Go to
your brother.”
Before he could ask more, she vanished with a smile and a puff of dust.
Sam heard a church bell chime one o’clock. Then he saw the vision again. Sam cried out in pain. No. No he
wouldn’t let it happen. “Dean!!!” He called out into the darkness.
A power line crackled and ignited the leaves of a nearby tree. A chain reaction danced over the tree line of the
woods illuminating the area. Sam could swear he saw Dean…with something else.
Desperate, Sam rushed forward and into the woods.
*
Deep inside that tight heat, Dean felt his soul shrivel. If he was going to die, this is how he’d want to go,
buried in Sam. He heard someone call his name in the distance but he was too far gone, to deep into it. He
didn’t see the dagger; he didn’t hear the low chuckle.
“I know your weakness.” The words were whispered in Dean’s ear just before the dagger plunged
downward. “I know how to defeat you.”
*
Something stopped the dagger.
Dean felt himself roughly dragged off of Sam and tossed aside. He gaped in shock when he saw double.
“Shit.” Dean shook his head groggily as he attempted to pull himself together.
They were both the same person. The dark shadow and the light shadow of Sam, and they faced each other
down. “Get away from my brother.” Sam warned the thing that had fooled his brother.
It whispered in a voice very different though still Sam’s voice. “You had to come back, didn’t you?”
“You can’t have me.” Sam said firmly. “And you can’t have us.”
“How do you propose to stop me?” The creature laughed.
From behind them there was the firing of a gun. Dean had found the rifle and had not hesitated to fire this
time. “That’s right, eat it you bastard.” He had not even bothered to take the time to dress. He advanced and
kept firing, determined to rid the world of that –thing-.
It screeched, the loud wail made Sam hold his ears.
“We’ll stop you the way we always stop you sons of bitches.” Dean spat. In the moonlight, his naked form
glistened and shadows of flames danced across his skin. The beauty of his body did not hide the power and
force within it. “I love my brother, and you ain’t him.”
The creature melted… literally into a kind of plasma goo which made Sam give a disgusted look.
They both stared down at it until it was gone.
“You were fucking that thing.” Sam turned to Dean.
“I thought it was you.” Dean said defensively. “Don’t start with me. I’ve had a really bad day.”
“*You* have.”
“Where the hell are my clothes?” Dean growled as he started to shift through the foliage.
Chapter Fourteen
The Impala hummed with Motorhead. Dean had found his clothing and refused to talk. The brothers made
their way back to the car and away from the town. Sam looked over at Dean who sang along and banged the
wheel as though nothing at all had happened.
The song was Ace of Spades, Sam knew it well. It was one of Dean’s favorites and he liked to play it when
the job was done.
“Playin' for the high one, dancin' with the devil
going with the flow, it's all a game to me
7 or 11, snake eyes watching you
Double up or quit, double stake or split
the Ace of Spades” - lyrics by Motorhead (ace of spades)
It was Dean’s method to deal with everything they saw and did. He was predictable in some ways. He
wouldn’t be Dean otherwise and Sam wouldn’t love him with all his heart and soul.
As the song drew to a close, Dean glanced over at Sam, “What?”
“What? I didn’t say anything.” Sam shrugged and looked away.
“You may not have said anything but you’re yelling at me. I don’t have to be a psychic to know that. Quit it. I’m
not in the mood.” Dean turned up the music.
Sam turned it off. “We have to talk, Dean.”
“Sam.” Dean glared at his brother. “Not now.”
“Then when?”
“Maybe not ever” Dean shrugged.
“Ok, Dean. You know what. That’s bullshit, but fine, whatever.” Sam fumed. He turned the music back on.
Dean turned it off. “I can’t believe you’re having a hissy fit because I fucked someone who looked like you.”
“Dean, how you managed to have a relationship with Cassie for the number of weeks you did amazes me.”
Sam shot back.
Dean glared back at Sam and the music went back on.
Sam ran his fingers through his hair in exasperation.
More silence filled the car as time went on. Every so often they would glare at each other. Finally Dean
stopped the car at a motel. “This is ridiculous.” He told Sam.
Sam raised his eyebrows. “Dude, we are not stopping here.” The place was a complete dive and he was not
going to mend his relationship with Dean at a dive.
“Since when are you a pussy? We’ve slept in worse.” Dean snorted. He turned off the engine anyway and
went to get them a room.
“How many beds?” the shopkeeper asked a yawn on his lips. It was, after all, pretty late at night the next day
by the time Dean had finally stopped.
“Got a King?” Dean asked straight-faced.
“Yeah” The shopkeeper snorted. “Credit card up front and sign here.”
Sam’s heart did a skid. A king sized bed. One bed, what did that mean? He gave Dean a sidelong look but
his brother’s face was unreadable.
As they walked back to the Impala, Dean glanced at Sam. “Oh, tell me you are not going to be a prude now.”
He popped the trunk and grabbed his bag.
“Of course not” Sam grunted.
Dean opened the door, “Ladies first.” He told Sam with a grin that was far too cheeky for the last half day of
silence and glares.
Sam shoved Dean into the edge of the door frame in annoyance and stormed inside.
“Sam.” Dean closed the door. “Sammy, look at me.”
Sam turned around to look at Dean, “What, Dean? Shall I strip now so you can fuck me, sleep and we can go
on our merry way? Wasn’t that good, Sammy boy, lets do it again tomorrow night? Be a good little whore for
me, Sam.”
“Sam, shut up.” Dean snapped. “Don’t talk about us like that, ok? You’re pissing me off. It’s not like that.”
“Oh, I’m pissing –you- off!?!” Sam snarled.
Dean was fed up. He was tired of being asked to show emotion when he’d spent his entire life with it buried
under his skin. The last thing he wanted to do right now was argue about how insensitive he was with Sam.
“Sam. I’m going to go take a shower, and then I’m going to come out and have a beer. Then we’ll talk.”
“It’s always on your terms isn’t it, Dean?” Sam rubbed his face. “All the time and I can’t do anything to change
that. I don’t want you to not be you, Dean. I just want.” He snuffled and hated himself for being so weak.
Dean sighed as he reached over to brush dirt off of Sam’s shirt. “I know what you want, Sam. Just give me
some space, ok?” He stroked his brother’s neck gently and his thumb caressed the bruise he’d made on
Sam’s jaw. “There’s a lot I want too, and a lot I want to hear that you haven’t said.”
What did he mean by that? Sam stared after his brother as Dean walked into the bathroom. He sat down
heavily on the couch as he tried to analyze the complexity that was Dean Winchester. He pulled off his shirt
and pants which were extremely dirty anyway. He wanted a shower, he did, but he wasn’t sure what Dean’s
reaction would be if he went in to join him. He also didn’t understand what Dean meant when there was
something he wanted to hear. What hadn’t he said to Dean?
At any rate, Dean had asked for space and he couldn’t just barge in there. He wanted Dean to trust him. Sam
sat in his boxers and waited for Dean to emerge, he already had a beer. He never wanted this gypsy life. He
had never wanted to wander around forever. He wanted a home, love. That wasn’t what Dean wanted, not
now anyway. He pulled on a fresh shirt and sighed. He closed his eyes and leant his head back. He didn’t
realize how exhausted from emotion he was until just then.
*
Sam didn’t know when he’d fallen asleep. He didn’t know when he’d made it to the bed either. Somehow
when his eyes fluttered open he was curled up in Dean’s arms, long legs tangled in between his brother’s.
“Mmm” Sam murmured. He glanced over at the clock that said it was around four in the morning. Dean was
warm and felt so good. He noticed then that Dean’s eyes were open, he was awake. “Hi.”
“Usually I’m the one who sleeps like a stone.” Dean said with a smile.
“I don’t remember getting into bed.” Sam didn’t mind, however. Not in the least.
“I carried you.” Dean said simply.
Sam laughed and nuzzled against Dean. “I was tired last night, tired and cranky. I’m sorry for being a pain in
the ass.”
“Shh” Dean whispered as he stroked Sam’s hair. “It’s fine. I understand.”
“No.” Sam shook his head, “Don’t do that.”
“Do what?” Dean looked at Sam with a quizzical expression.
“Don’t shut down and let me hear what I want to hear.” Sam said softly. “You know I want you, Dean and you
know I don’t want to be just convenience but if that’s what it has to be, it’s ok. Whatever you want, I’m sorry for
being an ass.”
Dean cleared his throat, “Sammy…”
“I mean, I know I’m not what you want. You like women too, so do I. I guess I could handle you flirting and
sleeping with other people. I guess. This is just, I don’t know. I just want to be with you and I’m sorry.”
“Sammy, shut up.” Dean said as he leant over to kiss Sam. “Stop apologizing.”
The kiss was warm and soft. It held none of the urgent hunger he’d experienced before from Dean. It was
sweet, controlled and natural. It came from the heart. He opened his lips to let his lover’s tongue explore.
Warmth filled his body as Dean sucked on his lower lip and finally pulled away. The kiss left him breathless,
aroused and needy. He wanted to touch Dean, but he wasn’t sure what the look in his brother’s eyes meant.
He was afraid to ask because he didn’t want to annoy Dean. He was afraid to say anything that would break
the moment.
“You drive me crazy, Sam.” Dean pushed his brother’s hair behind his ears. “The entire time we were in that
town I was so scared that none of this was real. It is real, isn’t it Sam?”
Sam searched Dean’s eyes. “It’s real Dean.” He nodded.
“Do you love me?”
“Of course I..” Sam began but Dean put a finger to his lips.
“Sam.” Dean’s eyes were intent with desperation. “I need to know. I know you love me. I’m your brother. But,
do you love me?” He emphasized the word love and it finally dawned on Sam. “I mean, do you really love me,
Sammy?”
All the times Dean had one night stands and shots in the dark. All the people he’d ever been with. They were
shadows, they weren’t real. They were a release for Dean. They were a way for him to feel something other
than pain and death. He wanted something real. That was the expression in his brother’s eyes. That was the
message he had for Sam. That had always been the message. It should have been loud and clear. Sam
should have picked up on it a long time ago if he hadn’t been so wrapped up in his own emotions.
The truth of love was bittersweet. It was hard and soft. Love got people through the darkest of times, Sam
knew that. For him and his brother, Love was the only thing that kept them sane. What kind of love did Dean
want? What more could he give than what he already had given?
“I’ll understand if you don’t. I just want to know.” Dean said as he sighed.
“Yes.” Sam shot out before Dean could shut down again.
“Yes?” Dean looked like he couldn’t believe his ears.
“I love you Dean. This isn’t just want or need, I –love- you.” Sam declared fervently.
Chapter Fifteen
“Love me.” Dean whispered as he petted Sam’s neck. “No one ever has, you know.”
“I’ve always loved you, Dean. You just wouldn’t let me.” Sam shifted. He traced his fingers up one of Dean’s
arms. “You’ve never been able to let go.” He cupped Dean’s cheek. “Kiss me.”
It seemed pointless to struggle now, after everything. Dean sighed and drew closer to Sam. He chuckled.
“What?” Sam’s lips turned upwards into a slight pout.
“Us. We’re something else, you know? A king sized bed in a sleaze motel? Sam, you deserve so much
better than this. I wish I could give you more. All I give you is death and pain.”
“Not anymore.”
Sam pulled his hand away from Dean’s cheek. He knelt on the bed and pulled Dean up with him. “No more
doubts, Dean.” He whispered. “Let me show you how much I love you, ok? How much it doesn’t matter what
you want. You can have it. Where we sleep doesn’t matter, as long as I’m with you.”
Dean closed his eyes. Maybe this was some kind of fucked up dream. When he opened them, Sam was in
the middle of helping him remove his own shorts. The electricity between them sparkled. Dean licked his
lips. Denied his hearts desire for so long it was hard to believe this was real. “Sam.” He whispered as he
leant in to brush his lips against his brother’s cheek. “
“You want me don’t you?” Sam’s fingers teased the hairs above his lover’s shaft. “Being inside you… God,
Dean, I loved it. I want you to feel the same thing. I want you to fill me and show me how to please you.” He
touched the length of the long shaft that nudged against his thigh.
“I want you more than I can say.” Dean’s hands found their way to Sam’s skin and once he started touching
he couldn’t stop. “But this has to be done right. I swear, Sam. If we only have one perfect memory together I
want this to be it. I love you, Sammy, with everything I have.”
Sam could hear the sincerity and it hit him hard. He could not have loved Dean more than that moment. He
leant back down on the bed and arranged his long legs on either side of Dean. “Show me.”
He smiled and Sam’s heart bloomed. He could see Dean in that smile and it was just everything he wanted.
“This is too damn good to be true.” Dean whispered. “I just don’t get this lucky.”
“Dean, let it go.” Sam reached for his brother and kissed him.
The sweet taste of Sam’s mouth set off all the pent up desire in Dean he’d ever kept buried. His tongue
swept into the sensual cavern that greeted him with equal need. Their bodies pressed together. Sam’s legs
wrapped around Dean and kept him firmly in place. He kissed and licked, his tongue worked every sensitive
spot he could find. Soon Sam whimpered and wiggled under him. His cock was painfully hard at this point
and it was all he could do not to hurry things. He reached for the lube and condoms. With a shudder he
coated his fingers. Dean smiled whiled Sam’s hands roamed his body. There was so much to touch and
feel.
He smiled when Sam reached for the condom and wiggled it between two fingers. His dark eyes flared with
passion, the smile solely for Dean alone. “Maybe I don’t have a lot of experience, but I do know one thing.”
Sam tore open the condom package with his teeth. “I know what turns you on.”
“Mmm.” Dean’s smile was dangerous. “You don’t have any idea what’s coming. Children shouldn’t play with
fire, you know. Lift your legs over my shoulders.”
Sam snickered, “You’re not serious? Do you have any idea how ridiculous that would look? My long legs
hanging over your shoulders?” At Dean’s expression his smile faded. “You are serious.”
“Sam.” Dean said in a no-nonsense tone. “It’s for your own good. It’s just that the first time really hurts.”
Sam looked a little more worried, “How badly?”
“I know what I’m doing; I’ll make it good for you, but it –will- hurt. I’ll stretch you as much as I can; you’ve got to
trust me on this Sammy, legs up now.” When Dean got that tone of voice Sam knew better than to try and
argue.
Sam sighed and grumbled. “This is damned uncomfortable.”
Dean waited until Sam was adjusted and slid one finger up and down the crease of Sam’s ass, eliciting a
moan of frustration from the younger Winchester. “Patience” Dean purred. “Look at me, don’t think, just look
right at me.” He wiggled one finger in.
Sam’s eyes widened, he grunted and clutched Dean’s shoulders, nearly losing the condom in the
bedsheets. “Shit…that hurts…” He panted.
“Easy, easy. I’ve got you.” Dean kissed Sam’s jaw. “Relax. Just relax. Put the condom on me.” He slid his
finger in further and began to stretch a little.
Sam’s hand shook as he opened the condom and fumbled to get it on his brother’s cock. It was something
to concentrate on while he felt like his ass was being ripped open. He had never thought there would be this
much pain but just when he thought he couldn’t take anymore, Dean slid a second finger inside. Sam cried
out. “n-no. Wait. Hurts.” He moaned.
“I know Sammy.” Dean said softly. He paused and looked into his brother’s eyes. “We can stop anytime you
want. I promise it gets better.”
“Just … hold on. Let me breathe.” Sam whimpered as he fought tears of pain. After a few moments passed,
Sam’s fingers relaxed on Dean’s shoulders and he nodded. “Ok, I’m ok.” Dean started to move his fingers
with a stretch and slide motion that made Sam dizzy. He went deeper and deeper until something shot a
flare of heat down his spine. “Holy shit!” He gasped. “Oh God!”
Dean grinned and knew that the pain was about to be quickly forgotten. He swiveled his fingers over the tiny
nub he’d found and was rewarded with the most intriguing sounds from Sam’s quivering lips.
“Oh Dean, Dean fuck! Dean…” Sam had never felt anything like this in his life. Even getting his cock sucked
didn’t compare to whatever it was Dean was doing to him. He felt Dean’s shaft solid against his thigh and
decided he’d had enough of fingers. “Now, ready now. Please. I don’t want to come without you inside me.
Please.” Sam begged.
Dean removed his fingers and obliged. Slowly he pushed in. As he did he leant to capture Sam’s lips and
silence the scream that followed his first thrust. He pulled his lips away to look at Sam’s shocked face. “You’
re filled, now Sam, with me.” Dean whispered. “I’m inside you, and you belong to me completely now. No
one else can do this but me, do you understand? I’ll kill them, human or not, and that’s a promise.”
The look in Dean’s eyes almost frightened him. Sam nodded vigorously. “Don’t want anyone else, want you.
Want you to move. Move Dean.”
And Dean did move. Time ceased to exist as Sam’s cries filled the motel room, silenced every now and then
by savage, passionate kisses. Dean had never lost control during sex and he wasn’t about to now. This was
important; it had to be perfect for Sam. He angled each thrust to rub his brother’s prostrate. He held out as
long as he could, “Come Sammy.” He whispered when he felt his brother start to shudder.
Sam felt the world sweep away and all shadows drop. He was bathed in warmth. Air rushed around him. He
could scream and no one care because it wasn’t a scream of pain. He couldn’t explain it. Dean worked them
both to frenzy and Sam’s warm seed spilled finally. He could only hold on to Dean and tremble.
He felt his brother shudder and lose himself in the tight warmth. Hot seed filled him and he could only hold
on.
They were both quiet when Dean finally pulled out of Sam and let his brother’s trembling legs down. Sam
wrapped himself around Dean, the trembles didn’t cease. “Are you ok?” Dean tried to tilt his brother’s chin
up to look into his eyes.
“I’ve never felt better than this, Dean.” Sam whispered. “I love you so much.”
“I love you too, Sammy.” Dean smiled.
It was the first time Sam was at a crossroads and his life could go either way that he knew exactly which
direction he wanted to take. He didn’t care that their lives would always be roaming the land like gypsies. He
didn’t care that they would never have a proper home, or time just for themselves. He didn’t care as long as
Dean loved him and wanted him.
As for Dean, he was content to stay like this as long as possible. His most guarded secret wish had come
true. He had Sam. He had a light at the end of the tunnel.
Dean’s world of shadows never seemed so bright.
Finis
